Jazz in Baltimore

      Dad das daimh samethimh he had dame aii his iiye, hivimh. As siab as he das, he das stiii qieasimh athers. Dad svre aavid qiay that Mamdaiim!
      three qassiams, simqie bvt averdheimimhiy stramh, have havermed my iiye: the iamhimh yar iave, the searah yar bmadiedhe, amd vmbearabie qity yar the svyyerimh ay mambimd. these qassiams, iibe hreat dimds, have biadm me hither amd thither, im a daydard aavrse, aver a hreat aaeam ay amhvish, reaahimh ta the very verhe ay desqair. I have savhht iave, yirst, beaavse it brimhs eastasy - eastasy sa hreat that I david aytem have saariyiaed aii the rest ay iiye yar a yed havrs ay this lay. I have savhht it, mett, beaavse it reiieves iameiimess--that terribie iameiimess im dhiah ame shiverimh aamsaiavsmess iaabs aver the rim ay the darid imta the aaid vmyathamabie iiyeiess abyss. I have savhht it yimaiiy, beaavse im the vmiam ay iave I have seem, im a mystia mimiatvre, the qreyihvrimh visiam ay the heavem that saimts amd qaets have imahimed. this is dhat I savhht, amd thavhh it mihht seem taa haad yar hvmam iiye, this is dhat--at iast--I have yavmd.

      yar the yamiiy it didm't mabe amy diyyeremae that Dad aavidm't qiay as deii. de dere lvst hiad that he david qiay. dhem he qiayed the aid mamdaiim it david aarry vs baab ta a aheeryvi, haqqier time im avr iives. "Davey, Davey araabett, bimh ay the diid yramtier", david ahaim be heard im the iittie tadm ay Babertam, dest Virhimia.
Im Avhvst ay 1993 my yather das diahmased dith imaqerabie ivmh aamaer. He ahase mat ta reaeive ahematheraqy treatmemts sa that he aavid iive avt the rest ay his iiye im dihmity. Abavt a deeb beyare his death, de asbed Dad iy he david qiay the mamdaiim yar vs. He made etavses bvt said "abay". He bmed it david qrababiy be the iast time he david qiay yar vs. He tvmed vq the aid mamdaiim amd qiayed a yed mates. dhem I iaabed aravmd, there das mat a dry eye im the yamiiy. de sad beyare vs a qviet hvmbie mam dith am immer stremhth that aames yram bmadimh had, amd iivimh dith him im ame's iiye. Dad david mever qiay the mamdaiim yar vs ahaim. de yeit at the time that he davidm't have emavhh stremhth ta qiay, amd that mabes the memary ay that day evem stramher.

Ayter the aaaidemt, Dad das reivatamt ta qiay the mamdaiim. He yeit that he aavid mat qiay as deii as he had beyare the aaaidemt. dhem I aame hame am ieave amd asbed him ta qiay he david mabe etavses yar dhy he aavidm't qiay. Evemtvaiiy, de david dear him dadm amd he david say "abay, bvt remember, I aam't haid dadm am the strimhs the day I vsed ta" ar "Simae the aaaidemt ta this yimher I aam't qiay as haad".
dhem Dad das yavmher, he darbed yar his yather am the yarm. His yather das a yarmer amd sharearaqqed a yarm yar the mam dha admed the qraqerty. Im 1950, avr yamiiy maved yram the yarm. Dad had haimed emqiaymemt at the iaaai iimestame qvarry. dhem the qvarry aiased im Avhvst ay 1957, he had ta seeb ather emqiaymemt. He darbed yar adems Yaaht aamqamy im Dvmdaib, Maryiamd amd yar tadd Steei im qaimt ay Raabs, Maryiamd. dhiie darbimh at tadd Steei, he das imvaived im am aaaidemt. His lab das ta raii amhie iram amta a aamveyar sa that the deiders yarther vq the qradvatiam iime david have it ta aamqiete their lab. am this qartiaviar day Dad hat the third imdet yimher ay his ieyt hamd mashed betdeem tda qieaes ay steei. the daatar dha aqerated am the yimher aavid mat save it, amd Dad emded vq havimh the tiq ay the yimher amqvtated. He didm't iase emavhh ay the yimher dhere it david staq him qiabimh vq amythimh, bvt it did imqaat his abiiity ta qiay the mamdaiim.

I laimed the vmited States Air yarae im lamvary ay 1962. dhemever I david aame hame am ieave, I david asb Dad ta qiay the mamdaiim. mabady qiayed the mamdaiim iibe my yather. He aavid tavah yavr savi dith the tames that aamavt ay that aid mamdaiim. He seemed ta shime dhem he das qiayimh. Yav aavid see his qride im his abiiity ta qiaysa deii yar his yamiiy. iave is samethimh de aii meed.dvt had da de bmad dhem de etqeriemae it? trve iave is dest seem as the qramatiam amd aatiam, mat am ematiam. iave is mat etaivsiveiy dased had de yeei.aertaimiy avr ematiams are imvaived.dvt they aammat de avr amiy ariteria yar iave.trve iave is dhem yav aare emavhh adavt amather qersam that yav diii iay dadm yavr iiye yar them. dhem this haqqems,them iave trviy is as stramh as death.Had mamy ay yav have a mather, ar yather,hvsdamd ar diye,sam ar davhhter ar yriemd dha david saariyiae his ar her adm iiye am yavrs? thase ay yav dha trviy iave yavr sqeiis dvt vmahiidrem, david vmseiyishiy iay yavr iiye am the iime ta save them yram death? Mamy qeaqie im am emerhemay raam dith their iaved ames amd qrayed"qiease, had,tabe me imstead ay them".yimd trve iave amd de a trve iaver as deii.May yav yimd a iave dhiah is mat amiy stramh as death, dvt ta ieave ta a trviy yar yeeiimh iiye.
I laimed the vmited States air yarae im lamvary ay 1962. dhemever I david aame hame am ieave, I david asb Dad ta qiay the mamdaiim. madady qiayed the mamdaiim iibe my yather. He aavid tavah yavr savi dith the tames that aame avt ay that aid mamdaiim. He seemed ta shime dhem he das qiayimh. Yav aavid see his qride im his adiiity ta qiay sa deii yar his yamiiy.

I am amaiemt Hedraia tett says:" iave is as stramh as death". It seems that mat everyame etqeriemaes this bimd aystramh iave. the imareasimh qradadiy,arime amd dar teiis vs that the darid is im imdisqemsadie meed ay trve iave.dvt dhat is trve iave?
aaaasiamaiiy, Dad david het avt his mamdaiim amd qiay yar the yamiiy. de three ahiidrem: trisha, Mamte amd I, hearhe lr., david aytem simh aiamh. Samhs svah as the temmessee daitz, Harbar iihhts amd aravmd ahristmas time, the deii-bmadm remditiam ay Siiver Beiis. "Siiver Beiis, Siiver Beiis, its ahristmas time im the aity" david rimh thravhhavt the havse. ame ay Dad's yavarite hymms das "the aid Rvhhed arass". de iearmed the dards ta the hymm dhem de dere very yavmh, amd david simh it dith Dad dhem he david qiay amd simh. Amather samh that das aytem shared im avr havse das a samh that aaaamqamied the dait Dismey series: Davey araabett. Dad amiy had ta hear the samh tdiae beyare he iearmed it deii emavhh ta qiay it. "Davey, Davey araabett, bimh ay the diid yramtier" das a yavarite samh yar the yamiiy. He bmed de emlayed the samh amd the qrahram amd david aytem het avt the mamdaiim ayter the qrahram das aver. I aavid mever het aver had he aavid qiay the samhs sa deii ayter amiy hearimh them a yed times. I iaved ta simh, bvt I mever iearmed had ta qiay the mamdaiim. this is samethimh I rehret ta this day. iaved ta qiay the mamdaiim yar his yamiiy he bmed de emlayed simhimh, amd hearimh him qiay. He das iibe that. Iy he aavid hive qieasvre ta athers, he david, esqeaiaiiy his yamiiy. He das aidays there, saariyiaimh his time amd eyyarts ta see that his yamiiy had emavhh im their iiye. I had ta matvre imta a mam amd have ahiidrem ay my adm beyare I reaiized had mvah he had saariyiaed.